Obviously, this is my first post so I might as well introduce myself. I'm Stephani, a 21 year old college senior, ready to graduate!
The reason I am writing this blog is to get my ideas out on "paper" so that I am able to look back and see how I grow through my last semester of college.
—well, might as well jump right in!
God, has always been a huge part of my life but for the past few years I have been having major problems actually feeling a connection with him. Don't get me wrong, I know that God is always there for me and He is my savior and I am saved because I believe but for me, it's not as easy as that.
Lately, there has been some kind of disconnect between the two of us. It's like, when I pray no one can hear me and I don't feel anything there. It also happens when I worship. Everyone around me can be so into the music and what we are singing, and believe me it is really great music with incredible lyrics but something just doesn't resonate with me. For years I have been trying to figure out why this is but one thing was missing—I never actually took the step to try harder and to ask God to be a part of my life again.
Obviously, that is slightly an issue. I can't just sit around wondering why I don't feel anything when I'm not taking the initiative to have a relationship with God. Yes, I pray every day and my prayers are conversations, just talking my life out with the big man upstairs but that isn't me reading His word or truly attempting a relationship. So, this year my goal is to make that relationship, I want to open my heart up to him and have the most incredible relationship with God ever possible. This passion that I want to feel all started when I read the book "Redeeming Love" if you haven't read it, go check it out from a library and do so. Seriously, GO DO IT. I related with that book more than I thought was possible. This book struck a chord in me that I wasn't aware I had. I want a passion for God again, I want to feel that He is my rock and He is the one that I want a loving full relationship from. So, I am going to make that happen. I bought a 365 devotional book called "The Confident Woman" by Joyce Meyer. Also incredible, I highly recommend it. My goal is make time every morning to do a devotion and have time with me and God. One more step that I am taking is reading the book "Crazy Love", READ IT.
With all of this I am hoping that my relationship with God will strengthen and I will feel the love that I know that He has for me.
I know this post is very unresolved but I am sure I will post again soon.
i LOVE your first post! and may there be many, many more! i remember a wise person once telling me that if i was concerned that i wasn't feeling close enough to God, that i was closer than i realized because a person that is far away never even considers the distance. :)
ReplyDeletethat said, i am SO happy for you that you are seeking Him! i can't wait to read more....