Well, here goes nothing.
the world of dating
ahh yes, I said it. Dating. What a sticky situation. Who honestly has all the answers for dating? Let me tell you, no one. Except for God. But I am going to share a bit of what I have dealt with in the last 8 years of my life. Maybe something I have gone through will relate to what you are going through or help you deal with a situation.
When I was younger, I literally went on dates, all the time. Not an exaggeration. I thought it was the greatest thing ever to have a guy ask me out. I mean, me, a guy to talk me out? Who wouldn't want that. I went out with a lot of guys, and I had maybe two serious relationships in my high school career. Unfortunately, one thing that I never really put in to play was how to put God in the middle of my relationship. Maybe I can use the excuse of being young and just wanting to have fun but really, I just didn't think God had anything to do with who I was dating. Boy, looking back now, was I wrong. I look back to high school and even my college relationships and think how different they would have been if God would have been at the center of them.
Now, my college relationships were a bit more serious and I had some major struggles with them. I chose to date, "fall in love" [or so I thought], with a man that had no relationship with God. This man did all the right things, he made me feel important and treated me well—until we were actually in a relationship. I convinced myself that him not treating me the best during the relationship was because he was stressed or because it was the first time I was dating someone so much older than myself. Oh ladies, please do not fall into this trap. This man did not give me the respect I deserve, and how could I expect him to when did not respect myself the way I should. My confidence was broken. I let a guy define who I was instead of believing in God's definition of me.
WOAH RED FLAG. That's not a good thing.
For me, this trend continued until recently. Through college, I was known as the girl to always have guys asking her out or there was always someone with a crush. Flattering, yes, but not the reputation I really wanted. With all of this, my heart was continuously getting passed around without me having any hold on it. When I wasn't in a relationship, I felt lonely and got down on myself because I couldn't define my worth without a man at my side telling me how great I was.
Growing through this was a long, treacherous road. It has been 3 years since my first, very serious relationship and I can tell you that I am a whole new person. Even in my last relationship, I still struggled with defining myself by God's standards and not the guys. I was self-conscious and worried he wouldn't like me for me. I ruined the relationship, not intentionally, but I did it to myself. The past six months was a constant back and forth to what I wanted and what I didn't want. During this time I chose to focus on me, and realize that my relationship with God needed to be stronger before I can give my heart to another person.
I am now single, happy and in a loving relationship with my God.
Ladies, the past year has been the hardest of my life. Starting with one decision I made on February 14th of last year, it was really the craziest roller coaster I have ever been on. I would not change what happened because I grew so much in to the woman I want to be for the rest of my life, but I could have definitely survived without all the tears that I shed. Until last week, as much as I wanted to convince myself that I wasn't letting a man define who I was, I really was lying to myself. I thought the only way my senior year could end happily was to be with the man I had picked to marry and start my life with him.
—hold up, did you read that? I said the man I picked to marry. Not the man God picked for me to marry. I had this huge, beautiful fantasy planned out for my life without letting God have any say.
I think this is one of our biggest issues as humans. We say we trust in God and will give all of our problems to Him. But really, we still like to keep a hold on some things. For me, it was my relationships. I want to have a say in whom I fall in love with, who I spend my life and time with. But really, it's not my deal. It's Gods. He has the perfect man picked out for me. Maybe I've met him already, maybe I haven't. But it will all happen in Gods time. Not mine.
This may all seem like a bunch of rambling but the main points I want people to gather on are these:
1. respect yourself or else no one will respect you
2. don't let the guy define you, God defines that you are a perfect princess
3. God has the perfect man picked out for you, don't let what you want get in the way of His plans for you.
God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them. Genesis 1: 27
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