I posted about knowing who I was supposed to give my heart to and how happy I was that I could finally accept that. Well, remember how that post was also about wondering what the heck God was thinking? Again, it happens, all the time.
God has recently taken that man out of my life. Crazy right? So, this past week has been a learning experience in trusting the big man upstairs. At first I was hurt, and frustrated. All I did was cry and wonder what the heck was going on. But after a much needed prayer break the light shown.
I have been praying to God for strength; the strength to conquer my fears, to live my life to the fullest and to really get to know the real me. Turns out, that's what God is starting to do. [I think] He is giving me the time to be independent, to focus on me and my relationship with Him. I don't need someone else in my life taking away from my time with God. I need someone who will lift me up and challenge me in my relationship. God just had a different way of telling me that a different man is meant to do that for me.
Does this mean I'm looking for the next guy? No, I'm taking this time to focus on me. God has shown me that this is my time with Him. I will focus on Him and bettering myself so that when I move out of state I can take this world by storm. I will be strong, focused, and ready for anything the devil wants to do against me. If I were to stay in a relationship, I would be nowhere near strong enough to live on my own for the next two years away from my family.
God does everything for a reason. And this weekend, I really learned that I need to trust Him. Do I still hurt? Yes, every day. But with time, that pain will fade and I will be healed. I trust that God has a plan for my life and everything happens because a new, and better thing is going to come.
I love God. He has my back. Who has yours?
Wow, I wasn't aware people read this. Thanks(?)
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