Why is Friendship so Hard?

It has been a little over 6 months since my last post here. I'm not sure why I find it so hard to keep up with a blog, or maybe I just never really think the things going on in my life are all that important for others to read. But is has come to a point where I feel that I should start writing again [and hopefully keep up with it].  With a little nudging from the people around me, Molly asking if I had a blog and Mom bugging me to write a post on our Women of 4:13 blog I thought I would update again.

Where to begin? It is now January 7th, its is the first day of my second semester of grad school.  I have to report in to work in approximately 67 minutes and I am currently sitting in my t-shirt and shorts drinking hot chocolate. I guess I should give a little more background of where I am since my last post just mentioned that I was moving to Florida.

I live in a studio style apartment in Fort Lauderdale, FL. I live on the 6th floor facing the city.  It is a magnificent view where I can see my schools campus and in the distance, all of the big buildings of downtown Fort Lauderdale.  My favorite part about my view is waking up to the sunrise.  Florida sunrises are breathtaking.  I can't tell you how many times my day has instantly been made by waking up to see God's amazing creations.
I am getting my masters degree in College Student Affairs. Last semester was my first and I received a 4.0 [woohoo].  My goal is to get all A's in grad school even though grades aren't super important at this point...it's a personal goal.  I work in the Office of Orientation and Commuter Involvement.  I love it! It is so much fun to have a hand in students first experience as an official Shark.  I also love working with the commuter side of things and trying to get people involved.

Florida is amazing. It is full of different experiences and events that I never would have had the opportunity to see if I lived in Michigan.  The weather is a definite plus as I love being tan and I hate being cold. The ocean is an amazing site and I promised myself that I would never get sick of it during my two years here.  The pool in my backyard is also wonderful when i don't feel like driving the fifteen minutes to the beach...

Alright, so you have a little background. Now I think I can get into the nitty gritty.

"True friendship is rare on earth. It means identifying with someone in thought, heart, and spirit."

Friendship is hard right? Finding people you truly connect with? People who will support you in your decisions but aren't afraid to tell you the truth when they think you're being just a little bit to crazy, mean, or petty. Is that kind of friendship actually possible? If so, how often are you able to find it? How often can you surround yourself with people that will have your back no matter what, that will take your side and support you when others put you down, that won't talk about you behind your back but bring up issues straight to your face? Really, in our world, is that even possible?

For the end all be all question, yes, I think it is possible. But I think finding true friendship is one of the hardest things to find in our world and society today.

Why is friendship so hard? Why do we find it so difficult to find friends that truly support us in every way but aren't afraid to call us out when we need a reality check? For me, I think it's because our values are completely altered.  The people in m generation today barely know right from wrong.  The world is no longer black and white, everything is on a gray scale.  Now if you ask me that's a whole other, catastrophic problem that cannot be solved with on 22 year olds blog.
Friendship is something we all long for. It helps get us through the day. People to help make us laugh, and hold us when we cry; we all need that at some point or another. Sometimes, you can find friends who are great to hang out with go to the bar, the club, the beach but maybe they're not so good at having deep conversations because fundamentally, your beliefs are different.  That's not a bad thing, it's just a different kind of friendship.
On the other hand you could have friends whom you know you can talk to about anything and they won't judge you or turn away from you because of something you are going through but maybe they aren't the people that you spend every second of every day with.
And then, few and far between there is that friend.  The most perfect friend you have ever met.  Where you probably connected instantly.  The two of you have so much in common, you support each other and aren't afraid to call each other out...it's just the perfect mix.  Even the two of you could have differences in beliefs or values but for some reason, with that person it doesn't matter.  You are two peas in a pod and nothing can separate your friendship.  Now, how many of us wish we had that?  Or how many of us can think back on a relationship and say, "wow, that was a really great friend." I don't think that we should let these types of friends go so easily.  Sometimes distance makes it hard to keep the friendship going or for some reason the relationship is broken.  I think that looking back on those types of relationships can help us realize that we need to treat those friendships very specially.  We need to hold those people close to our hearts and show them how important they are to us. If you have that type of friend right now, don't let them go.  Show them how much you value their friendship.

Just because sometimes we meet that person or people who are so special to us and seem like a perfect match for us doesn't mean we should treat the others as any less.  Each person is in your life for a reason.  Maybe it is to challenge your beliefs.  To help you become stronger in the person you are.  Or maybe you're there to influence them and in the same way challenge them.  Maybe they are there to listen to you and help you grow as a person.  In the same respect, these people could turn out to be your lifelong friends if you would just give them a chance and stop judging them right of the bat.  Truth is, we're all different.  We have different body shapes, hair styles, thoughts, strengths, beliefs, morals, and values but just because those are different doesn't mean we can't be friends.  True some of those differences may make the friendship challenging but maybe it's to help both of you open up and lighten up about the differences around you.

I'm not sure if anyone will find benefit to this, I'm still not sure if it all makes sense but friendship is something we all need to get through this life.  Hopefully we are al lucky enough to find those friends who are true but if not the friends we surround ourselves with can have an impact on us as well. We can grow together and strengthen who we are with whomever is around us; we just need to be open to it.



Proverbs 19:20 Listen to advice and accept instruction, that you may gain wisdom in the future.